By Gippy Doré
SUNDAY 1ST. APRIL, 2018 – WODEHOUSE CORNER AT DORE’S
WHAT HAPPENED AT DORE’S PLACE ON SUNDAY APRIL 1ST – 2018
Our usual meet scheduled for 25th. of March was postponed to 1st. April leaving many wondering if it would be an April fool prank. But then we are serious minded fools and do not play with pranks. The date was shifted as Dore said that his door will be shut as he would be away for a reunion with his brothers in Dubai. We recall General Douglas MacArther’s famous words, “You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair.” Some with age grow younger and turn out like Giri for whom,
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will,
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.”
Giri and his brothers can be imagined in moving ahead as the young with their flag and their slogan: “Scale the dunes and conquer the desert”. But let’s wait for his sparkling narration on his return.
One fine day things went haywire when Dore’s phone got cross connected to some chap infesting a flat near CCI. The fellow (whose telephone, no doubt, covered by a laced embroidered cloth was silent as a tomb for he rarely received any calls) was very cross as dozens of Giri’s phone calls had been disturbing him night and day. At the height of his anguish PG unknowingly phoned Dore where upon the victim roared like a wounded lion “Who is this Giri? Where does he live? I have complained to MTNL and I am tired of getting up to rise to the occasion to hear all and sundry asking for Giri Dore. PG pacified him with a soothing syrupy voice thick as Calmpose, and enlightened him that Dore lives just across the road. “I will go and see him just now”, he declared. The incident is not very different from the scene in Psmith Journalist where Psmith had joined the staff of Cosy Moments, New York’s sanitized magazine, bought regularly by the father of the family to read to his chicks at bedtime. It contained contributions (as Plum described) from the bright offspring about the nursery canary by Jane (aged 6 years) and other pure bilge by a handful of lousy writers who relied on the good old copy-paste technique. Psmith assists the acting editor in sacking the writers who, on receiving the missive turn up at the journal’s Office, collectively demanding, “Where is Windsor?” Psmith, with his customary tact and savoir faire not only defused the noisy crowd but turned them into a jovial bunch before hosting a lunch where, conversing happily, they forgot about the purpose of their visit and repeated their stale jokes and stories across the table. We are eager to learn how Dore handled the CCI chap or did he leave him to be taken care of by the society’s bouncers.
One of our regular members was unable to attend as he had the dengue which, as we all know, is a terrible mosquito borne illness. Our friend is recovering fast. However, it is reported that the mosquito who was the culprit had high levels of alcohol in its blood also developed high fever with aches and pains and is struggling in the ICU of the Mosquito Ward. The long arm of retribution is never far.
There was much heated discussion on Aadhaar card, its uses and potential dangers. For those who like Abou Ben Adhem just awoke from their deep dream of peace, they must understand that Aadhaar is a mandatory requirement under the present regime and there is no moksha without it. That apart, mere survival on the face of the earth is out of question unless you have the card with proper number which must be linked with mobile, banking, doctors, etc., failing which you can be disconnected from your mobile, gas connection, banking, internet, passport, visa, marriage, divorce, hospital, and burial / antim sanskar. Here comes the problem. Many find the linking is not possible as there are no finger prints. Perhaps they never had any in the first place. Now some regret their sterling character in not having committed some useful crime like house break for they could have easily escaped without leaving a trace of a single finger print. So all please note, Aadhaar will hereafter be every person’s companion, the staff and the support, on life’s long journey through days sunlit as well as the nights through dark and deserted ways till he or she joins the dust. A faithful companion not just from birth to death, but from the womb to the tomb. Members gravely nodded saying that this might well be so!!